How To Get Stress Relief Instantly

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference – By Malcolm Gladwell

“The best way to understand the dramatic transformation of unknown books into bestsellers, or the rise of teenage smoking, or the phenomena of word of mouth or any number of the other mysterious changes that mark everyday life,” writes Malcolm Gladwell, “is to think of them as epidemics. Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread just like viruses do.” Although anyone familiar with the theory of memetics will recognize this concept, Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point” has quite a few interesting twists on the subject.

For example, Paul Revere was able to galvanize the forces of resistance so effectively in part because he was what Gladwell calls a “Connector”: he knew just about everybody, particularly the revolutionary leaders in each of the towns that he rode through. But Revere “wasn’t just the man with the biggest Rolodex in colonial Boston”; he was also a “Maven” who gathered extensive information about the British. He knew what was going on, and he knew exactly whom to tell. The phenomenon continues to this day–think of how often you’ve received information in an e-mail message that had been forwarded at least half a dozen times before reaching you.

Gladwell develops these and other concepts (such as the “stickiness” of ideas or the effect of population size on information dispersal) through simple, clear explanations and entertainingly illustrative anecdotes, such as comparing the pedagogical methods of Sesame Street and Blue’s Clues, or explaining why it would be even easier to play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with the actor Rod Steiger. Although some readers may find the transitional passages between chapters hold their hands a little too tightly, and Gladwell’s closing invocation of the possibilities of social engineering sketchy, even chilling, “The Tipping Point” is one of the most effective books on science for a general audience in ages. It seems inevitable that “tipping point,” like “future shock” or “chaos theory,” will soon become one of those ideas that everybody knows–or at least knows by name.
Ron Hogan
Selfgrowth.com

Hypno-Freedom.com

There’s no rule that says you have to be a superhero. So much has been written about amazing individuals that achieve the impossible -– they juggle fulltime jobs, study, raise children, run a household, coach the national cricket team and write a novel in their spare time. Anyone you read about that does all these things is a rare individual. And they probably forgot to tell you about the six months they spent recovering from all the exertion…

Small amounts of stress can be motivating, however high levels of stress can have the opposite effect. Common symptoms of excess stress include fatigue, feeling overwhelmed, irritability and increased susceptibility to illness.

Are you always rushing to catch up? Do you have an enormous “To Do’ list that seems to grow each day? Poor time management is a common source of anxiety and stress.

If you have trouble getting things done, invest in a time management course to help you prioritise tasks, eliminate unnecessary activities and plan your day effectively. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Be clear about what you are trying to achieve. Set personal, financial and career goals.

2. Take time at the beginning or end of each day to plan.

3. List everything you need to do and the date by which it needs to be completed.

4. Number each item in order of priority. Your highest priority items will be the ones that help you achieve your long-term goals and ambitions.

5. Delegate or lose tasks that do not help you achieve your goals and ambitions. Place a value on your time, and eliminate tasks that do not have a positive payback. For example, if you value your time at $25 an hour, consider hiring someone at $12 an hour to do your housework.

6. Do one thing at a time, and see the task through to completion before starting something else. Switching between tasks can be a huge time waster.

7. Attack the tough top priority jobs first. Most people have a tendency to do all the little tasks first so they can get them out of the way. It is more effective to start with the highest priority task. Ask yourself, “What one task if completed would have the greatest positive impact on achieving my goals?” Try completing this task first.

8. Handle incoming mail once (and this includes email). Don’t keep putting it aside — make a decision and act on it immediately.

9. Set time aside each day to work or study without interruption — close the door, turn on your voice mail — do whatever it takes to make sure you can work in peace and quiet.

10. Don’t take on more than you can handle. If you can’t fit it in, say no.

11. Plan your personal time, such as playing tennis or catching up with friends. People often think that leisure activities need to be spontaneous but this isn’t true, it can be just as much fun to plan time out.

12. Plan your errands, client calls and other travel to ensure you make the best use of your time.

Find time each week to do something to nurture your soul — spend time with your children, dance, write in a journal or enjoy some guilt-free leisure. Scheduling time for relaxation will keep you motivated.

If you don’t already have a dairy, put this on your shopping list today. You can use it to record your goals, appointments and also to remind you to take part in regular exercise, hobbies, family and romantic time and last but not least — fun!

About the Author: TALIA MANA is a business and personal coach, an inspirational speaker and author. Talia can be contacted through her website: taliamana.com.

SelfGrowth.com

Hypno-Freedom.com

Two important keys that have helped me form better relationships with others and myself are forgiveness and non-judgment. They are very similar. Forgiveness is an attitude that is important to cultivate when you feel that you have been wronged. Being non-judgmental is an ongoing process. When you are non-judgmental and forgiving, you attain a higher consciousness and inner peace.

Most people feel forgiveness means pardoning another person for an error or indiscretion. That view comes from the small ego. It implies you are above someone else, that you are the judge. True forgiveness means you reach a point in consciousness that you realize no one is to blame for anything; no one is wrong. Whatever happens in a relationship is perfect for what you need as Soul to grow. In the deeper understanding of life, there is no one to forgive; whatever happens in your life is perfect.

Forgiveness means that eventually, if you are linked with your higher self and Spirit, you will consciously realize whatever transpired was perfect for your growth. You then can release all attachments to how you wanted a situation to turn out and all negative energy regarding that event or person. Then true impartial love can flow through you and from you.

Start and forgive yourself and practice accepting yourself instead of negatively judging yourself. The more you do this, the more it spills out to your relationships. Then they become more loving or peaceful. Which in turn makes your life more loving and peaceful!  Change your beliefs and change your life!

Marian Massie
Hypnotherapist/Success Coach

www.hypno-freedom.com

Willpower is Way Overrated! The REAL Science-Based Secrets for Persistence and Eliminating Procrastination – By Doug Bench

If I were to ask you “what was the most important characteristic for overcoming procrastination, for persistence, and long-term achievement,” what would you say? Willpower? That would not be an unusual answer, but it would be wrong.

Willpower is vastly overrated as the leading trait used by success-minded achievers. If we keep this discussion on a scientific level, willpower cannot be responsible for more than one-sixth of anyone’s success.

The real secret to success is your imagination and your ability to visualize success. This powerful trait is responsible for five-sixths of every great achievement.

Suppose that you have set a goal to lose 10 pounds. You are absolutely determined to be 10 pounds lighter by next month! You are using your willpower to prove that you are stronger and more powerful than those extra cookies and calories.

So you say to yourself, “I will not overeat… I will not overeat… You repeat this to yourself over and over again, using your willpower. But all the time you are consciously saying this, your imagination is visualizing how great those cookies smell, and telling you how great those cookies taste. Sooner or later you will grab those cookies or extra calories and chug them down. Why?

Whenever you have a conflict between willpower and your imagination, whenever they are pulling in opposite directions, your imagination will ALWAYS win!

But if your willpower and imagination are working together, pulling toward the SAME goal, this will create an all-powerful force that is impossible to overcome, and success is always the automatic, inevitable result.

Now this sounds great, but how does this work scientifically? Most sources of self-help tell you “what” you should do. But very few tell you “how” things work. KNOWLEDGE is the real key to success.

Revolutionary brain-science discoveries have been made in the last few years. In that research lays the proof of the above theory and how you can put this to use in your life to overcome procrastination, and reach transcendent levels of success.

While using a PET scanner to verify that indeed most people solve math problems in the left side of the brain, neuroscientists made a startling discovery.

[A PET scanner is used to take a scan-image of the brain. The subject is injected with a very small amount of radioactive isotopes, then placed in the scanner, in which an electromagnetic device passes a very thin electromagnetic field through their brain. The part of the brain that is "thinking" at that time will have excess amounts of blood-flow, which, due to the radiation, shows up on the PET scan.]

In the math function tests, each of the subject’s brain scan lit up in a similar area of their left-brain.

But something else occurred that the scientists had not predicted. The brain scan also lit up in 5 other areas of the brain! This was a revolutionary discovery. It verified that your brain is constantly “thinking” on six or more levels at once.

In additional testing, subjects were given a math problem to solve and a sedative that was slowly increased, until they fell asleep.

What happened? The light on the scan image representing the math thinking, WENT OUT! But the other five areas of the brain scan that were lit, stayed lit.

CONCLUSION? You are constantly thinking on 6 levels at once, but only at the conscious level, are you aware of your thoughts and ideas.

The other five areas are known as your nonconscious brain or what used to be called the subconscious brain by non-neuroscientists.

When the scan-light went out for the conscious thinking and math problem-solving, as each subject fell asleep, all of the other areas stayed lit.

This means that you are always thinking at your nonconscious levels. No matter that you may be consciously asleep.

Your imagination and powers of visualization reside in your nonconscious brain. Your willpower resides in the conscious brain.

Your conscious brain represents one-sixth of your brain’s thinking power. Your nonconscious brain represents five-sixths of your brain’s thinking power.

Which part of your brain is most important to control? Which is more powerful: a 500 pound Gorilla or a 100 pound weakling who gets sand kicked in his face? Do the math!

Your nonconscious brain has five times the power of your conscious brain.

Therefore anytime you have a conflict between your willpower, which functions in your conscious brain (1/6), and your imagination, which functions in your nonconscious brain (5/6), who is ALWAYS going to win?

Yep! Your visualization and imagination of the taste of those cookies-every time!

So what can you do to fix this?

Well there is another scientific principle involved here.

Your mind sees only in pictures. If I were to ask you to close your eyes and remember what you did first thing after you got up this morning, you would see this in pictures. You would not see this written on a page of notebook paper in your brain!

Because you are aware of what you think consciously, your conscious brain can see things and think things through and filter out negative pictures and give thoughts (mind-pictures) true meaning or perception.

You CANNOT filter out the negatives from your nonconscious thoughts because you’re not even aware of what that thinking (picture) is!

So when you say to yourself, “I will not overeat!” Your conscious brain (1/6) can give this true meaning, but your nonconscious brain (5/6) sees a picture of, “Overeat!” “Overeat”!

And boy does your nonconscious listen to you!! It is not at all uncommon for people who want to lose weight to actually gain weight!

Have you ever said to your children, “Whatever you do, don’t spill the milk!”?

Five/Sixth of their brain, sees a perfect picture of what?

That’s right! “Spill the milk!”

Kids listened well at my house. They always spilled the milk.

How do you solve this problem?

Now that you know the scientific basis, it’s easy. You’ve got to get your nonconscious brain, 5/6 of your brain-power, in line with your conscious, willpower brain, 1/6 of your brain-power.

You must use your imagination to dream and visualize all of the positive benefits you can gain by losing ten pounds and bombard your nonconscious brain with these pictures so that your entire brain is working toward the same end.

Instead of saying “I will not overeat!” say, “I am fit, and thin, because I eat healthy foods!” See yourself doing so as you say this!

Also, start seeing yourself doing the things you will be able to do after you lose weight.

Start visualizing every single benefit of that goal.

Then your entire brain is working in the same direction. And no matter what your goal is, weight-loss or other great goals, your success will be automatically guaranteed. You won’t need willpower anymore.

After about thirty days of imagining and visualizing your success, your brain will have created enough new neurode connection-patterns, so that it will automatically take the steps necessary to reach your goals.

You won’t have to do it; your brain will do it for you!

Willpower is overrated! Oh, it’s still important. You need to use it to make the initial decision to change.

But once that decision to change is made with willpower, use your imagination in your nonconscious brain to make that willpower decision stick, permanently!

Procrastination will disappear, persistence and long term success and achievement will take its place. Not a thing you can do to stop it.

Your brain will be programmed for Success. Automatically! Trust Your Greatest Achievements to Neuroscience!

About the Author: Doug is a noted educational and motivational dramatist, humorist, author, trainer and speaker.

SelfGrowth

Hypno-Freedom

Here are some ways to deepen your connection with the immense powers of love, forgiveness and wisdom. At first glance, they might seem like simple truisms; yet they are powerful when you use them, and they may lead to revelations:
* Say “Thank you; I love you” over and over throughout the day and night.
* Find the place of love within yourself, and by focusing on it, you magnify and expand it.
* Extend that love to yourself for the great being that you are in your true nature.
* Extend love and forgiveness to someone who you perceive has been less than loving to you.
* Ask your Wise Mind what it would like to tell you about anything you’re experiencing.

With love to you,

Marilyn Gordon

The Official Guide to the Law of Attraction

Let’s face it. Many of us choose to hang on to things that at some point have hurt us, angered us, made us feel sad, or depressed us. If we choose to hang on to them, we will never move forward and we could even create physical or medical damage to our bodies. To prevent this from happening we need to let go but no one really tells you how to let go and move forward. Sure it’s easy to say: “Just let go, move forward, forget about it, just let go.” But that really doesn’t work. I’m about to show you how to let go and start moving forward.

Why You Need to Let Go and Move Forward
Throughout our lives we go through different experiences, some are positive and some we see as negative and unpleasant. When you hang on to a negative or unpleasant experience you are constantly thinking about it. And when you constantly think about that negative event you prevent yourself from healing. How many pleasant memories do you recall everyday? Chances are you’re like most people and you have a number of unpleasant experiences that you’re holding on to, which is preventing you from moving forward.

The more you carry the worse life gets. Why? Because you’ve filled your mind up with negative experiences, because you continually hang on to something that doesn’t allow you to move forward, in short, you’re carrying useless baggage that’s really slowing you down.

Think of it this way: you’re on a hiking trip and along the way you keep picking up heavy objects, things that really don’t serve you. After a while, these objects begin to slow you down and unless you get rid of them, you’ll never complete your trip.

To let go you have to get your mind to focus on different goals and different objectives. It’s not about saying: I let go of the pain from my fight with _____ and move on. That will help, but if you really want to start moving on, then you have to get your mind to focus on new things, in the process you automatically let go of the things that have been slowing you down.

How to Let Go and Move Forward
Researchers believe that that if you hold on to negative feelings, sad emotions or depressing memories there is a possibility that you could reshape the human cell to the point where your thoughts of the past have a negative effect on your cells and your physical health.

Hanging on to negative past events is a process that can destroy your life in ways you’re not even aware of. Ask yourself these questions: Do the negative things you hang on to serve you any purpose? Do they help you move forward? Do they work in your favor in any way? If you said no to any or all of the above then tell yourself this: This emotion/feeling doesn’t help me so I’m letting it go and focusing on what is important. Then begin focusing on what you want next, focus on what is important and what can improve your life. This is a simple process that gets the mind moving in a new direction and you stop building negative energy created from the negative events/emotions, which only attracts more negative situations. When you begin focusing on more positive things you begin attracting positive situations.

The next step is to create an action plan, the past is over. Where do you want to go now and how do you plan to get there? You may not have the answers but merely thinking about the options forces your mind to go in a new direction and you automatically let go of unwanted feelings and emotions.

The key to your success is to train your mind to move in a new direction so you send new messages to your subconscious mind, which then brings you the opportunities to move forward.

The final step is to live in the present moment, to start living in the now. Living in the now is different than living for the moment. Living in the now is the process of enjoying everything that is going on at this present moment. Take a look around you and appreciate those things that you once thought were trivial. When you are here now you can be nowhere else. You are not hanging on to something, you are here now. I know some of you may say the following: “But Karim, where I am right now really sucks, I don’t want to think about it.” It only sucks because you’re looking at all the negative things going on. Focus on a few of the positive things anything from nature to the wonderful family you may have. This forces your mind to look at things differently and tells your subconscious mind that you’re ready for new possibilities, then you’ll begin to let go and move forward.

About the Author: Karim Hajee is the author and creator of the Creating Power system - which teaches you how to direct the power of your mind and subconscious mind so that you achieve your goals and live the life you want. To learn more visit: http://www.creatingpower.com.

published by selfgrowth

Key #7 Gratitude’s Gift

“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.” – Henry Ward Beecher

The 7th key found in the novel “the 100th human” is truly one that opens the door to enlightenment. Gratitude can be found on a myriad of pathways that all lead to God. The symbol for the 7th Key is revealed to us in the subtle image of an elephant. The gentle giant is sometimes used as a symbol for the sacred state of Gratitude. Within the emotion of feeling grateful is the seed that offers us the ability to grow into enlightenment.

Sam Hutchison, the 7th gatekeeper in the novel, guides our heroes through the intricacies and true power of Gratitude. Everyone knows what being thankful is. However, few beings use Gratitude to its fullest benefit. Gratitude can create a beautiful moment or define a lifetime of happiness and bliss. Its power is great and its effects, if fully embraced, can transform your life into magic. Gratitude’s Gift is a happy paradox that perpetually turns into itself.

“Gratitude is most sacred. It is not a state of subservience as some might interpret it; though humility is an inseparable part of gratitude. But the type of gratitude I speak of does not worship God as some might assume, it rather communes with God, which is considered to be far more reverent.

“…gratitude is not something I feel toward God for blessing me, as much as it is how I feel when I commune with God.

“Without duality, there is unity. Gratitude is one of unity’s faces. Gratitude is part of the experience of unity.” – Chapter 89 of “the 100th human”

Gratitude forces us to be present in the moment. You can be grateful for the past, but you can only feel the emotion now in this moment. Life is now, abundance is now, God is now, and you are now. Being grateful in each moment will literally transform your life. No less.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” – Melody Beattie

God is good, happy, at peace, in bliss, and now. Gratitude is both a tool you can use to reach God and the state of being you will find once you have arrived in God’s presence.

“Gratitude is not just something you should feel when someone gives you something. It is a state of mind, a state of consciousness, if you will. You can not feel gratitude in the past or future. You can think about it outside of present time reality, but you can’t experience it. The true experience of gratitude requires several things. It requires you to be in the present moment, completely devoid of past regrets or future projections. When you experience true gratitude as not only an emotion, but as a state of mind, all traces of being a victim, or of self-pity, wash away and are replaced with power and connection to God.

“When you are in gratitude you understand unequivocally that you are connected to God and are part of it. You can not feel a deficit in any part of your being, if you are communing with that force. In other words, you have the power to change — everything, but most importantly your mind, or your perceptions. Remember there is no reality, only perceptions of reality.

“Gratitude is also unique in that you can use it as a tool to connect to God and to your deepest states of consciousness. What I mean is, when you are feeling victimized, self-pity, worry, or fear, all you have to do is think of something you are grateful for, and your mind and energy will change. It doesn’t matter how “holy” that thing might be. …it could be feeling grateful for your dog or for a meal or for your most recent life lesson. No matter what it is, your state of mind will change immediately. And if you can stick with it, you can enter the State of Gratitude.

“If you must compare yourself to others, compare down. Compare to people who are less fortunate than you. No matter your place in the world, there is always someone who you perceive to be worse off than you. I do not tell you this so that you can judge or pity others, or excuse yourself from trying to better yourself, your circumstances, or your environment. But by comparing down, you can feel grateful. Once you begin to feel grateful, you can have access to higher states of gratitude consciousness and realities. It is a powerful tool.

“Gratitude is a tool, a power and a state of consciousness all at once. It creates miracles in our lives and expands our hearts to the point where we can invite God in. I urge you, as I have urged my students: embrace gratitude in every way that you can.” – Chapter 89 of “the 100th human”

How do we use this powerful tool to reach its promise land? Never forget to feel grateful for everything in your life, including the difficulties; for they are the boulders of today you must climb to build the muscles needed to ascent the mountains of tomorrow. Stay present in each moment, feel the sustenance the earth provides you and the opportunities that lay within your heart. Make every moment a grateful moment. Receive Gratitude’s Gift!

Don’t forget the other keys as well: Living on Purpose, Hearing the Silence, Infinite Possibilities, We Are One, and Correctly Identified. Remember your thoughts count. Be the 100th human!

About the Author: Chris Fenwick, author of “the 100th human,” a consummate optimist, artist, and entrepreneur, has traveled the globe learning from societies, scientists, and sages alike.

From selfgrowth

Hypno-Freedom

Sarah and I pulled into Yellowstone’s north entrance at 2:00 a.m. and were greeted by the official National Park warning: “Beware of Bison!” The bright yellow flyer had a comic yet equally horrifying black sketch: a bison, head down, horns forward, tossing a flailing human into the air, his camera flying. On this dark, moonless night, with no other human being in sight, we were thrilled to arrive, but uncertain whether to proceed.

The Power of Facing Our Fears
There was no one to collect our entrance fee, no one to tell us if we were safe to continue, and no one to help us if needed. We each heard the voice of caution familiar to many women—am I taking too great a risk? There are times to heed that voice by not continuing and times to simply hear it, recognize the possible dangers, and trust your instinct to move ahead.

Road trips provide multiple opportunities for empowerment, beginning with the chance to face our fears. Each time we push past what’s comfortable and succeed, we gain confidence in our power of discernment. This frees us to live an adventurous life!

That night in Yellowstone, we embraced just such an opportunity. With adrenaline pumping, we drove on into the park for one of the most exciting and beautifully eerie experiences we’ve ever had. Everywhere we looked, there seemed to be eyes—little dots of light in the night looking back at us—a set of two here, a group of many there. We drove slowly, taking it all in.

The Power of Spontaneity
After an hour or so we parked our trusty Saturn on the paved shoulder. It was very late; we’d covered many miles that day. It’s surprising how comfortable you can get with reclined seats, a pillow, and a sleeping bag.

On that trip we simply stayed wherever was convenient. Ironically, we’d planned it that way. Our day-to-day lives were filled with deadlines, decisions, and goals to reach. This road trip was an opportunity to step outside that and simply do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted—a unique chance to let the children in us play and the adults rest.

By 4:00 a.m., we just wanted sleep. So we got comfortable in the car, giggling at ourselves for selecting the one spot in front of a pay phone. You know, just in case one of those bison got ideas…

The Power of Others
One of the things you discover on road trips is how many interesting, kind, and caring people there are in the world. There were the folks who gave us gas when we realized our tank was nearly empty in a huge national park with the nearest gas station miles away. There was the camp host who brought extra firewood and doted on us like a grandfather. There were the countless smiles and moments of small talk.

It’s easy to become wary of strangers, particularly with the barrage of tragic stories in the media. Road trips are a chance to experience firsthand the larger community we live in and feel support outside our usual world of friends, family, and colleagues. The power of that knowing includes a sense of greater security in our day-to-day lives and a feeling of connection rather than isolation from others.

The Power of Self-Knowledge
Yellowstone Park was one of many destinations on that luxuriously long road trip, and through our journey together, we got to know ourselves in a new way. We were open to such learning because we had fewer distractions and time to consider our experiences. Unlike many life lessons that require big change for us to stop and notice, the things we learned were, for the most part, fun and easy.

Many of these lessons were practical nuggets of wisdom about what we really need to be comfortable. You can live without a hair dryer—but not without toothbrush and toothpaste. Moist wipes can clean hands, clean spills, clean the car, and clean your body in a pinch. A hot shower is one of life’s greatest sensual pleasures. Clothes that “feel like you” are essential and empowering. Having gear that keeps you cozy in any weather frees you to enjoy the outdoors. Less is more; being able to find what you need because your space isn’t cluttered is freeing.

The Power of Creating Your Dreams
As we got to know our essential selves in a new way, our real dreams for our lives had room to surface. Around late-night campfires, we rediscovered some of our childhood dreams and explored others we wanted to pursue. We decided to act on them by writing down “My Five Dreams.” We began: “I co-create with the universe…” and then listed five of our most significant life dreams. This brought them right into the present, as we took responsibility and claimed support from the spiritual realm to attract our dreams into our lives. The expansiveness of the road was echoed in our dreams—rather than being limited to one, we had five to expand on. This helped us develop an exciting life vision to take home, inspiring us to continue on our highest path.

The Power of Forgiving Yourself
Another tool we hit on in our travels was the power of giving ourselves a break. We did some soul searching by writing things from the past we were carrying guilt or regret about. Then, from a spiritually connected place, we simply said, “I forgive myself for _____.” The joy of being spontaneous on the road was magnified by the lightness of being that comes from truly forgiving oneself.

The Power of Being
The ultimate power of any road trip is the opportunity to be a “human being,” rather than a “human doing.” Most of us live such hectic daily lives that we don’t realize we are whole and complete just by being ourselves. Instead, we are constantly in motion, our focus on the next thing to be done or on the list we haven’t gotten to. As a result, we can become disconnected from our experiences, unaware of who we are or what we need because we are too busy to notice. We become unable to adjust our lives to better suit our dreams and passions because we don’t have enough time to do so or the self-knowledge to make good choices. There is incredible power in stepping outside our typical selves and venturing into the unknown.

Leaving behind the familiar can be frightening, even intimidating, and we often engineer our lives to avoid such situations. But the joy of travel and being with friends can push us to venture into those places, with the added bonus of it being our choice to do so rather than circumstances making the choice for us. The resulting learning and life experience are bonuses over and above the simple pleasures of a road trip.

So take the chance to face your fears. To be spontaneous. To reach out to others and be touched by them. To know yourself. To create your highest dreams. To forgive yourself, and to simply be. And if your road trip takes you to Yellowstone, watch out for those bison!

About the Authors: This article was written by Kay Richardson, MFT, and Sarah Fuelling. More at http://www.kayrichardson.com.

From selfgrowth

Hypno-Freedom

Rumi was a great Sufi poet whose wisdom and heart were as large as the cosmos. His poems ring out truths that even years after they were written are still profoundly meaningful. Rumi wrote about the growth of the soul, about transcendence and metamorphosis. One of his poems about tending to and healing the emotions is particularly relevant. Here it is:

 

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning is a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond. 1

This is a poem about inviting in rather that locking out or rejecting the experiences that come to us on a regular basis. It’s about seeing your illness and pain as guests. It’s about the art of paying attention to the experiences of your life. If you don’t pay attention to your wife, your child, your friend, your fear, or your sadness, the problems can escalate. In our culture, we like to push things down, get rid of them, banish them, drug them into the oblivion of unconsciousness - but here we’re being invited to welcome them all into a guest house. If we suppress our feelings, they keep popping back up, like jack-in-the-boxes. If we pay attention to them, just like human beings, they are magically comforted, soothed and transformed.

Your pain is like a weary traveler on the road. You may feel safe enough to open the door and welcome the traveler in. In the guest house inside your deep inner mind, you may be doing the welcoming, or someone else might be there at the door. Who is it? Is it Jeeves the butler? Michael the archangel? A Great Being - or a small child? Bill Cosby’s son used to say, “Hello Friend!” to everyone he met. Simon and Garfunkle used to sing, “Darkness, darkness my old friend�” You have your own way of greeting your pain or suffering, of saying hello to it. You may want to speak to it and say,” Come in. Here�s a place where you can rest your soul.” You may want to begin a conversation by asking it, “What’s happening? Tell me what’s going on. What is your sadness or anger or pain like? Tell me about it. Tell me more.” First there may be some emotions rising up. You can watch them and allow them. When you just “be” with this pain and suffering, a shift happens, a relaxation, a change in quality, a shift in intensity.

After you pay attention to it, you may want to ask it what it needs. This is a great transformational question. Does it want some comfort? An arm around its shoulder? A change of clothes so that it can take off its disguise and reveal its true self? Does it want to experience great love? A shift in understanding? A chance for forgiveness? A life transformation?

At this point, the pain may have transformed into wisdom in its pure potential. You can ask the Wise Mind to speak about what the meaning of this situation is to your life and then what you might do about it. Is this here to instruct you about what you’re attached to and how you can let go? Is it saying to you that it’s time for a change in your life? Is it saying that you may need a more appropriate form of action in a particular situation? Do you need to treat someone differently? Do you need to become more powerful? Is it time to speak up? Is it time to change the nature and quality of your thoughts? Is it possible to bring spiritual solutions into your life?

Watch for a great metamorphosis, and save a chair in this guest house for any Great One who may be hiding under the guise of sadness, anger, fear and pain. When you pay attention, the duckling becomes a swan, the frog - a prince or princess, and the beast may transmute into the “Guide from Beyond” that Rumi so eloquently talks about.

In this same poem, Rumi also says,

Welcome difficulty.
Learn the alchemy
True Human Beings know:
The moment you accept what trouble
you’ve been given, the door opens.

We can apply this in our own lives and in our work, accepting whatever resistance may be and allowing in the deep feelings that may come through our doors. When we adopt this welcoming and allowing attitude, we can go beyond condemnation and judgment and find a merciful attitude of embracing what comes, and it can only serve to expand and enlighten us.

1. The Illuminated Rumi, Translated by Coleman Barks, New York Broadway Books, 1997

 

 

 

©2006 Marilyn Gordon, BCH, CI

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Hypno-Freedom

Do you have difficulty expressing your anger? Are you unable to say no? Are you suffering from a constant need to prove yourself or to do it all? Do you often feel tired and burned out? If so, you are probably experiencing the symptoms of stress.

Stress left unattended will lead to burnout. Aren’t you tired of living an unhealthy lifestyle?

We all have different sources of stress and different ways of handling those stressors. First, what is a stressor? This is different for everyone, but more common stressors are traffic, rude people, bills, family, friends, too many activities, too few activities, job, health issues, relationships…the list can go on and on. What one person considers stressful, another might not. It is not so much a person, place, or situation that stresses you out as it is how you react to it.

Stressor + Thought + Response = STRESS!

A stressor added to your thoughts about it, added to your response, can equal stress.

Connie, a college student studying for her MBA, explains it this way: “A stressor for me is traffic. I know I hate getting caught in it, and that leads to my getting aggressive behind the wheel.” Connie’s thought of hate adds to her response of aggression, which only equals stress.

Signs of Stress
Some signs of stress include, but are not limited to, the following three areas.

* Psychological. Depression; boredom; urge to cry; worry; helpless feelings; urge to run.

* Situational. Fault finding/blaming; perfectionism; aggressiveness; smoking; over/under eating; reclusive behavior; argumentative attitude.

* Physical. Headache; muscle tension; high blood pressure; heart pounding; stomach problems; sweating; dizziness.

Stress Management
Stress management involves observing your stressor and shifting how you define your thoughts about it to respond in a nonstressful way.

Let’s look at the three main areas that stress affects and learn techniques in managing your thought responses. Remember, we are not talking about stress elimination, but stress management. It is impossible to totally eliminate stress as it is part of daily life. However, it is possible to change how we react to it.

Psychological Stress

1. Manage how you talk to yourself. Listen to the words you are saying to yourself throughout the day. Are you saying, “I should know everything” or “I should never lose my temper”? These thoughts set unrealistic expectations. No one is perfect–why do you believe you should be? Counter these thoughts with their opposites, such as “I may not know everything, but I am pretty smart at some things” or “I lost my temper this time, but now I am aware of it and next time will keep calm.” Simply talking to yourself and defeating the negative self-talk with positive statements helps to lift your spirits.
2. Don’t take yourself so darn seriously! Life is not meant to be hard and miserable. Our lives were meant to be filled with joy and abundance as per scripture, John 10:10: “I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly.” So choose life! Bring out your creativity. What hobbies or activities did you once enjoy that you are no longer involved in? If you once played a musical instrument, play it again. Read, sew, play tennis, watch a comedy, socialize with positive, fun people, or read a bedtime story to a child. The point is to do something you find fun and exciting.

Situational Stress
Stress is a sign of reduced productivity through procrastination, inflexibility, poor memory recall, perfectionism, unrealistic deadlines, or disorganization. Following are some solutions on increasing your efficiency, while lowering your stress level.

1. Do only one thing at a time. Start with the biggest, hardest tasks on your to-do list, followed by the smaller, easier tasks. Too many people begin with the smaller tasks only to run out of time before starting the larger tasks, and they become overwhelmed and stressed out. Start with the biggest task because when you complete it, the sense of accomplishment will make you feel good and help you to move on quickly to the smaller tasks.
2. Group errands or tasks together. Plan your driving route for the day. Instead of driving all over town with no real plan, group your errands together to help save time. If you need to go to the post office, cleaner’s, gas station, and grocery store, then plan your route for the shortest drive possible. If the post office and cleaner’s are closer, then go there first on your way to the gas station, and end at the grocery store. The main purpose is not to backtrack and waste time.
3. Delegate, delegate, delegate! Probably the hardest thing for most people to do, especially perfectionists, is to delegate activities. Remember, you do not have to do it all. Delegate easier tasks to family members, coworkers, neighbors, or friends. You may be surprised at how willing others are to help you. Do yourself a favor and ask.

Physiological Stress
Stress affects our bodies in various ways, however, we can protect our health with the following: (1) eat balanced meals; (2) exercise regularly; and (3) learn to relax daily.

You probably have read enough informational articles on diet and exercise, but do you really know how to relax? Learning how to relax daily will help you manage your stress. I personally like meditation and prayer to put me in a relaxed state. Deep breathing is another helpful technique. Try this exercise right now: take a deep breath in through your nose for a five-second count, hold for three more seconds, and then exhale though your mouth for a count of five seconds. Repeat this entire exercise five times.

Notice how you now feel? Can you feel the relaxation seeping through your entire body? Deep breathing is easy to do anywhere, whether you are in the office, stuck in traffic, standing in line, or waiting in the doctor’s office. You can use this technique today, right now.

Managing Your Stress
The main thing to remember in stress management is that you are responsible for your overall health. Know what your stressors are, and understand that your responses to them have not worked in the past and need to be redefined. Remember Connie, our MBA college student stuck in commuting traffic? I coached her on ways to redefine her thoughts regarding traffic, and she now manages her stress in a completely different way. “When I realized that I was creating my own stress regarding the traffic, I decided I needed to stop getting angry about something that was totally out of my control. I took the time spent in my car to listen to audio books of some of my college courses, and now I’m actually ahead in my studies. I no longer get stressed out in traffic but look forward to the time in the car for listening to my classes.”

About the Author: Contact Susan at http://www.EnjoyLifeCoaching.com

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